Courtney Schand Courses

As a woman, integrated Masculine energy feels like support (not like a damsel in distress, but a trusted ally). It is what makes her dreams reality.

For men, I imagine the experience of being Rooted.

To be the sturdiest version of himself, both grounded in his entire bodily experience as well as in his heart🌳.

From here, he can support the life he was meant for and build the Love that fuels him.

There’s nothing more distressing than chronic breakdowns in relationships.

Men *seem* to have more independence but in my experience, even the toughest guys wish relationships/women could be simpler to navigate.

As I’ve learned about men, as they mature, they actually have a deeper awareness of their own need for connection- especially to an intimate partner.

There are books about how to streamline this process and every stand-up comedian knows the divide between the sexes is an easy crowd-pleaser but what no one denies is the need for stable connection doesn’t go away.

Men go after this sturdiness by earning more money, hoping to create stability financially.

Or physically, mastering their fitness.

Or even sexually, negotiating connections to get his needs met.

But what he really wants is to be trusted.

This is the level of sturdiness he is actually after; the resources, strength, and charm are the tools he may have thought would help him build this, but trust is one of those intangible skills that have to be developed and practiced.

I may be wrong here, but I would imagine many men want more than most things to be trusted deeply, to be held accountable (and appreciated) for their contribution to the world.

This is also the very legacy that would lead him to desire a partner.

Not simply because this is what he has seen as “success”- the icing on the cake- but because, deep down, he wants to be received.

Received for who he is when he’s done accomplishing, received when he is in the midst of frustration, and received when he is feeling vulnerable or uncertain how to proceed and needing inspiration.

Women, in my philosophy, are born receivers.

It is their natural gift to the masculine.

And this becomes even easier when she has a healthy relationship with her own masculine energy because her heart can’t help but Arise to meet her man’s heart.

When men don’t understand how *they* are naturally wired, it will make trying to be received by a woman a game of whack-a-mole where his efforts go unnoticed, and in return may frustrate him out of the dating game altogether (I heard this story from many of my own dates).

What a man that is wanting a partner needs to do is two-fold (granted this takes some unpacking, but here’s the high-level answer): to understand what is healthy for him and to understand how women have been responding to him so he can learn from it and step into greater leadership… his fullest potential (in my opinion).

This will look like understanding masculine energy (surprise, bet you weren’t expecting that) and begin practicing leadership in his own life.

This will look like clarity around what he wants from his life- the experiences that he would find meaningful (this will look different for everyone) and the specific ways he contributes to them.

This will also look like understanding feminine energy- what’s healthy and what’s not so he can naturally influence outcomes/situations by empowering those around him.

In my opinion, this is true leadership.

And women (as well as other men) are looking for this kind of leadership.

A man who is Rooted in his masculine energy, likely won’t present with excessive bravado or talk about achievements but he will be solidly confident in himself, his purpose, and his heart.

In fact, the strongest man is the one that can be honest about his limitations.

Having taken time to explore these, he will actually present in a way that women can more easily trust.

He will present as an empowered masculine man.

When a man is empowered in his masculine energy, he naturally creates a sense of ease in others.

He does this by acting from his values and opinions.

This will be evidenced by how he invests his resources- time, attention, money, etc.- they will all be in support of his values and the vision he is building for his life.

This is also what will have him stop pursuing women that indicate (generalized) emotional immaturity (playing hard-to-get, manipulative, volatile emotional reactions).

Because he understands what he is willing and able to contribute, he wants someone that is able to receive that from him in a way that feels complementary to both of them.

As a result, he will have the confidence and courage to share more of himself in the beginning stages of relationships and kindly let go of people that will not create mutual benefit.

This will allow him to naturally step into greater harmony (less drama) in all areas of his life, and focus his energy on supporting the relationships that help him add value in the ways that matter most to him.